chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files are best listened to with the eyes closed !
the layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at largest and with a zoom of 125%, and my text rendering is done for these settings though they should be somewhat tolerant of a zoom setting or two up or down
links are in the times new roman font
don't
even
look
at
a
person
thinking
they
might
be
good
and
kind
i
could
look
forever
i
don't
see
such
a
person !
“ frankly your hostility in communication with others is not worthy of response. ”
oh you poor little flowers ..... : o )
humans
are
very
sensitive
to
injury
of
course
if
you're
injured
you're
not
so
sensitive
there's
so
much
of
it
walking
around !
is
not
simply
sane
it's
also
is
sanity !
taken
me
a
long
while
to
see
i
am
insane
really
insane
that
is
insane
myself
the
rest
of
the
world
which
is
insane
as
some
one
else
or
a
social
idea
called
conformity
even
the
locked
up
psychos
are
not
insane
as
themselves
but
conforming
to
some
social
idea
or
other !
often
religious
or
conspiracy
delusions !
not
to
mention
the
unlocked
pyschos : o )
years ago when my parents got worried about my dysfunctional work ethics and ability, i was given an interview with a psychiatrist and that was enough contact with the world of pyschiatry for me and enough of the blend of sanity/insanity i am for him !
i had enough sense to steer clear, but i notice that women on autistic spectrum are usually vulnerable to that sort of invovlement and get crucified by it !
ramana i quite strongly relate to, those stories about him, that's autistic, semantic pragmatic, whatever !
i would say rick was more in the pragmatic semantic area too, tho with some autistic streaks !
anyone who can go more than one or two rounds with me is like WAY on spectrum, some sort of extreme
the
7th
patriarch
i
know
what
i
know
i
have
nothing
to
prove
to
you
on
the
subject !
the
7th
patriarch
i
have
nothing
to
prove
to
you
on
the
subject !
sorta
frightening
extent
to
which
the
net
can
become
your
world !
all
addicted
to
the
opposite
sex
you're
addicted
i'm
addicted
makes
one think
about
getting
old !
people
supposedly
au
fait
with
brahman
or
no
self
can't
cope
with
a
bit
of
straight
talking !
i
think
you
have
to
see
and
immerse
your
self
in
human
madness
fully
to
have
any
understanding
of
life !
i
think
you
have
to
see
and
immerse
your
self
fully
in
human
madness
to
have
any
understanding
of
life !
mad
sane
world
of
functional
schizophrenia
mountain
monastery
monastics
at
mt.
tremper
i
can't
believe
the
extent
to
which
you
have
become
colourless
clones
you
should
be
of
yourselves !
zen
mountain
monastery
at
mt.
tremper
monastics
i
can't
believe
the
extent
to
which
you
have
become
colourless
clones
strange
world
of
religion
and
madness
strange
world
of
zen
and
madness
meaningless
in
the
end
i
don't
think
meaning
has
any
more
meaning
than
meaningless
ingrid you flaked out on a reply, but hey kali has already butchered you !
you had a sort of near death experience, possibly a mild stroke, (which i implied in my last post and you haven't denied) but it's not as glamorous as some total nonsense like reincarnation?
you haven't got it right in this lifetime and there is NO NEXT !
don't even know the difference between pyschiatry and physiology do you, both difficult to spell words beginning with “p” of course
you are all so malfunctional that there is deep brain injury like pre diabetes, the foothills of dementia/alzheimers, intellectual retardation, low thyroid of course which you are all clamming up about
funny , i wrote about how you would react before you did, which i always take as being a very good sign i am on the the right track!
sorta prophesy if you will !
world
is
not
one
unmitigated
bout
of
sanity
think
i'm
honestly
quite insane
i
think
i'm honestly
quite
insane
i
think
i'm
honestly quite
insane !
false
of
course !
think
voynich
means
something
essentially
taste
of
the
world
is
for
schizophrenia
the
taste
of
the
world
is
for
schizophrenia !
this
is
like
the
fucking
hardest
thing
i
have
ever
done
through
the
voynich
of
religion
worked
do
you
post
so
obsessively
on
advaita boards/blogs ?
sent
me
except
humility !
lastly and firstly keep the eyes closed !
what is brahman?
it is
not
simply
the
absence
of
self !
yes
i
am
a
nut
but
not
entirely
a
nut
because
i
can
see
some
of
it !
can
you
see
some
of
it ?
my
own
and
yours ?
yes
i
am
a
nut
but
not
entirely
a
nut
because
i
can
see
some
of
it !
can
you
see
some
of
it ?
man
i'm
putting
too
much
energy
into
the
world
aren't
another thought is, does originality and creativity have a higher value than repeating the trite and being patted on the back for it and patting others on the back for it?
i can write this but know it won’t make the slightest difference, as i said a different species !
takes
nothing
no
ability
to
breed
just
a
semi
competence
that
carries
on
from
generation
is
what
is
hard
and
requires
competence !
takes
nothing
no
ability
to
breed
just
a
semi
competence
that
carries
on
from
generation
to
generation
is
what
is
hard
works
and
comes
for
you
when
you
are
ready
i
know
it
happened
there
is
no
experiment
just
disaster
upon
disaster!
honestly, you are a good example of the problem of zazen making for rigid idiots
zafu frog replies
on the contrary andrew. zazen silences the blabbering idiot and allows our deeper wisdom to take centre stage. you should try it.
my reply
you are making a claim, one has to judge for oneself, even the wise are not so foolish to make the claim you are doing
the fucking fraud deleted my posts and now has his blog moderated !
ask
you
what
does
zazen
do
to
people
that
they
can't
handle
criticism?
ingrid writes
there’s a memory that’s been with me seemingly for ever that i could never really put into context. there is no person at all in this memory. it goes like this:
there is only a deep, unmoving, silence. then there is a felt sense of movement. that movement becomes a point of light – moving forward through a space like environment and there is a sense of a tone. the point of light turns around to see where it came from and at that moment realizes that it is aware and that what it came from does not seem to be. the sense of separation is there. what is seen of where it came from is like a huge greyish-whitish cloudlike substance. it turns forward again and moves on. the memory stops there.
i have always understood this to be a personal remembrance of what “happened” before “my”coming into this form. this video leaves me wondering if this is not a rememberance of creation coming into being itself as bizarre as that might sound. in that sense it would for me verify that before creation we all were that unmanifested silence and that spark of awareness became the whole manifestation.
i’ve always hesitated to share this memory because it sounds so out there. what think you and how would you interpret such a memory?
ingrid, it's a fiction, being caught up in the fake, don't you think your memories will reflect this?
ingrid replied
andrew do you mean made up by my mind? believe me it isn’t that imaginative
my reply:
i'm not saying it's made up, but rather it's rubbish.
i am glad you replied and are not offended.
you are not reading the right stuff, like brian green's “the hidden reality” is based on string theory and branes which has been discredited in favour of a more buddhist model actually, oscillating universes going down to nothing at the singularity and then being recreated with only limited information about the previous universe coming through
there's a really top level of stuff like emily dickinson, wang wei, sa'di, john of the cross and ug krishnamurti actually
the avaita saints are mediocrities, perhaps with the exception of ramana
so you are just reflecting your reading and intellectual exposure, i mean mediocrity has to come from somewhere, it's 99.99% of everything !
my next reply after she responded again:
ingrid, i have looked at it (her memory/vision) again and it's devoid of any real semantic content, that is, anything that might be in the nature of a coherent vision
you are projecting content onto it of course
you may think you are closed to me, but you are pretty open, i don't retract what i wrote and you can call it
“different strokes for different folks” but the reality is the useless meaninglessness of that memory and you can't accept that
which is why of course you are stuck in useless meaninglessness and you know it!
you may have brain injury issues, something akin to migraine aura, cardiovascular whatever? that you have remembered it like that means it is very signficant, but the significance is physiological, some form of damage that has occured or may have been occuring
we are all damaged i guess, but things like advaita and zen try to turn it into some sort of denial of damage, like things get better ha ha !
the house erodes into the landscape, it has always happened that way !
blood circulation restriction in the visual cortex?
all talk and no reality
eileens comment :
yeah gosh some of them are really out of it
fluffy fake
“ swami venkatesananda tell us that our words have to be truthful, pleasant and helpful. ”
the seventh zen patriarch tells you words must be truthful but can be coiled or muted and unpleasant and as for help, don't have any illusions about that !
very occasionally you will have to be completely untruthful!
i am always minded of a true story about a woman in the channel islands whose sons were involved in the resistance to the germans and when questioned by the gestapo, she could not tell a lie !
it did not turn out well, the family were imprisoned in france, can't remember if the sons were caught and what happened to them !
a
man
looks
on
a
woman
little
does
he
realise
he
is
looking
on
a
species
designed
to
feed
on
him !
if
only
he
weren't
designed
to
offer
himself !
are
separate
universes
but
the
universes
are
still
common
to
a
deeper
reality !
your
goal
in
life ? ”
into
a
stream
it's another bad dream i am afraid
i think they are looking for some permanent emotionally nice state
lolololololololololol
there's uncountable grains of sands on the beach and the sea goes through them all the time and what good does it do them?
only
life
was
what
we
are
good
at
but
what
we
are
not
good
at
always
intrudes
can't find a working link, this one was him at mount baldy discussing the religious scene i think : o )
they are rationalising having subservient slaves, which is the whole guru trick actually !
know
you're
old
you
are
from
a
time
before
personal
trainers !
you
know
you're
old
when
you
are
from
a
time
before
personal
trainers !
and
women
in
a
relationship
if
they
are
more
similar
they
might
get
along
better
but
be
less
functional
a
s
a
couple
if
they
are
more
different
they
get
along
less
but
are
more
functional !
i
was
thinking
we
can't
be
together
too
much
or
even
too
close
because
w
e
would
self-
destruct
stars
too
close
together
pulling
each
other
apart !
i
was
thinking
we
can't
be
together
too
much
or
even
too
close
because
w
e
would
self-
destruct
stars
too
close
together
pulleach
other
apart !
you have to be very careful you endup as a sane schizophrenic
and not insane !
there is this issue of brain default circuitry
the problem with zazen is not particular to zazen but also occurs with solitude as per the unabomber !
zazen is a way of handling rambunctious monks and passivating them so they take up minimal space and don't make any noise so it's not surprising it is promoted as a spiritual technique !
i don't feel it suits western physiology or the modern life style (read poor cardiovascular health even in the young and apparently fit) and it takes too much ongoing attention during sitting to keep posture
so i think you just discard zazen and move onto the question of getting space and solitude on a daily basis in modern life, walks, sitting in a chair, i like to sit out under the stars : o )
warner
seems
to
have
slipped
into
nostalgia
already
maharashi explaining
personally i couldn'd do that for more than 20 seconds and i don't think you could rule out some non-benign changes to the brain default circuitry doing that which is perhaps what happened to you (ed. .. “started having all sorts of weird things happen, seeing things that were not there and feeling like i was floating and looking down on myself”)
the problem with zazen is the way it entrains or amplifies well laid neural tracks in the brain, people who do it seem to get damaged more than they were in the first place imo
of
the
necessity
of
complexity
in
being
effective
is
a
huge
modern
problem !
denial
of
complexity
a
huge
modern
problem !
the
bugs
and
animals
and
bees
are
asking
be careful, zazen sends some people schizophrenic !
older people should be very careful of the thrombotic aspects of being immobile for a while and having the knees bent !
forget focusing on the breath just let thoughts run and you start to see who you are after a while, not pretty ; o )
also it's very important to read widely, not just zen but english literature like the poetry of emily dickinson or lewis carroll's hunting of the snark or quality religious literature like sa'di's the rose garden so the solitude/reflective thought opportunity that zazen may be has something to derail the entrenched thought processes
it needs to be high quality reading, the best across the centuries in good translations if it's not in english
personally i don't do zazen, but live by myself !
how deficient in personal modesty anyone must be to set themselves up as a teacher !
teaching what? drivel ime !
i'm not american, is the american way just to flick something off and hope everyone else does the work ?
the someone is a bit of a nit at times
i'm not comfortable at all with who i am as someone
the real me as a person with personality always jars
maybe the diff between us is i don't really believe in myself as a real person, but you do more
my voice is gender blurred too, just with use you cease to be self concious about it, one is who one is !
the voice and the poem or homily work together, they are both who you are !
byron
years
longer
than
shelly
fictions on fictions
is
no
escape
or
is
there ?
if judgement were composed entirely of good judgement it wouldn't be a problem, the issue is it's natural imperfection and some process of successive approximation to getting it more right !
what you are saying is that you have woken up and have seen that judgementalness is no longer necessary
if my opinion is worth anything to you , you have created a new delusion called “waking up”.
please accept my recommendation to become an advaita teacher
or failing that, do something useful by reading that paramount spiritual text “ the hunting of the snark ! ”
is
no
set
point
of
enlightenment
or
understanding
infinity
itself
always
need
to
be
moving
forwards !
there
is
no
set
point
of
enlightenment
or
understanding
infinity
itself
personally
always
need
to
be
moving
forwards !
advaita
and
zen
the
problem
is
not
with
concepts
but
when
they
are
poorly
and/or
inadequately
worked out
the
problem
is
not
with
concepts
but
when
they
are
poorly
and
inadequately
worked out
i
can
claim
i
don't
know
but
surely
you
can
see
that
i'm
saying
i
know
i
don't
know !
can
claim
i
don't
know
but
surely
you
can
see
that
i'm
saying
i
know
i
don't
know
fatigue
myself
fatigue
myself
frown
is
infinitely
fresh
SURPRISE !
think
what
i
like
about
ah
advaita
or
even
new
age
is
it's
much
more
accomodating
to
the
schizophrenic
in
me !
is
another
reality
more
real
than
this
what
it
is
or
how
it
exists
i
don't
know !
is
another
reality
more
real
than
this
what
it
is
or
how
it
exists
i
don't
know
meaningful
day
amongst
aeons
of
non-
consequentiality
meaningful
day
amongst
an
aeon
of
non-
consequentiality
be
like
a
guppy?
stupid
hugging
thing
curtailed
amma's
development !
has
become
a
victim
the
financial
needs
of
her
organisation
and
family !
stupid
hugging
thing
has
severely
curtailed
amma's
development !
leopard
the
claws
sink
deep
yes
a
mouse
ran
across
the
sheet !
leopard
those
claws
sink
deep
yes
a
mouse
ran
across
the
sheet !
sky
in
the
east
at
night
and
clear
in
the
west
shepherds
delight
red
sky
in
the
west
in
the
morning
shepherds
warning
day
meaning-
full
the
rest
meaningless
day
so
meaning -
full
the
rest
so
meaning-
less !
in
the
east
at
night
shepherds
delight
red
in
the
west
in
the
morning
shepherds
warning
just
have
to
put
everything
aside
and
go
for
the
copper
beech
sorta
get
burnt
out
eventually
it
takes
quite
a
bit
make
me
get
sick
of
something
vaccine
damage
is
not
creating
true
autism
let
me
make
clear
that
i
don't
think
any
form
of
damage
is
desirable
but
true
autism
has
a
strong
ability
to
give
exceptional
function
with
severe
damage
but
it
has
to
occur
in
the
womb
with
family
genetics
that
facilitate !
autism
is
the
base
condition
of
reality
the
deconstructed
condition
people
think
that
they
are
the
base
condition
but
they
are
not
they
are
constructed
away
from
the
base
condition
when
you
deconstruct
that
you
get
to
the
base
condition
which
is
autistic
the
first
thing
is
no-one
is
entirely
right
or
wrong
so
we
are
all
having
to
deal
with
each
other
a
s
abit
of
a
mixed
bag !
typical of the half and half voynich around ! a passivated wolf?
net is just nested and open ended arrays of links : o )
eye - opening about hare krishna
what scientist would write like that today : o (
all
free
you
idiot
i
couldn't
make
money
if
you
paid
me
that is, why are we involved in this except to get it right ?
ultimately there is a direct communication with infinity, what this is is hard to understand and recognise but it's there and happens and compared to which the stuff about teachers and their pathetic claims is offensive and so actually are you, but actually this is always how reality has treated god/brahman/infinity , it is offensive
if you lot of airheads actually started to say , “ well you make sense ” i would worry what i had got wrong !
it's not that these guys/teachers are benignly misguided, there's a huge toxicity to their mistakeness and i am calling them on it and you don't like it and they are h i d i n g which says a lot
it has always amused me that christians don't really believe in god or that direct seeing and zens don't believe in the same with buddha and now it's obvious that advaita don't believe in brahman or the seeing and being cause they all create these stupid fancy systems that have no relation to anything whatsoever !
i was offering serious advice on menopause ,
estridiol HRT is a gift that some women need to consider to remain alive, for instance i don't think katie byron would be alive or where she is today today without having done it
menopause is an intentional crippling by evolution of the supercharged form of human, with intelligence and a practical working to reduce the probability of cancer it's a viable option for those wishing to escape that downsizing !
at the end of the day there is something and it's not what the teachers are talking about and why all your energy goes into defending what is not defensible i do not know except that is how things occur !
am
not
here
to
inform
you
you
are
here
to
inform
me !
an
education
in
the
wrong
sort
of
insanity !
do
not
approach
infinity
they
only
move
away
from
it
at
the
same
rate !
the
voynich
manuscript
the
senseless
repeating
patterns
is
voynich
don't
think
you
have
got
the
wrong
end
of
the
stick
in
your
rush
to
be
negative ?
the
right
and
it's
scary
you
have
improved
so
much !
* kiss *
one of the great movie scenes have always remembered it tho i remembered nothing else of the film, so thematic of autistic life, the real get killed but the autistic invisibles survive tho they lose everything dear : o ) (
possibly the real event
i think that's a terrific interview by alan who has a real talent for it, but mass hugging like that is too dangerous to health these days
that
asks
you
to
subvert
your
judgement
to
another
is
quite
quite
wrong !
Allow allow allow. ”
soren that is actually part of the LGAT con (large group awareness training), you know suspend judgement and be a sucker
i don't take a benign view of you for saying that, it's really toxic and self-serving, i don't know what you are involved in ! you don't have a web id either !
lol the usual featherheads posting in the comments section of that video, naturally lobotomised i'd say : o )
i think it's basic there's no formula, it's mainly in the brain and circumstance !
the point about people getting rich is they have some sort of limitation, like being successfull, you can really only understand if you completely fail at everything, it's that sort of disappointment with life
i'm hard to beat on the failing actually : o )
i do feel that byron and tolle are sorta fraudulent but that's no different from 99.99% of any religious teachers !
so that's my objection to them, not that they're rich but they are fraudulent, but as i say..........
what i do think is wrong on a personal level is me/you funding that sort of thing in any way !
now the effect of the loss of hormones at menopause is hugely variable, some women seem to at least scrape through but a fair portion are absolutely devasted by it, for those i have a discussion about the form of HRT that works and how to reduce the cancer risk, like there is this view that cervical and breast cancer are symptoms of iodine deficiency
byron katie was on HRT in her darkest days in the halfway house when the roach experience occurred, without it, i don't think she would have had the brain growth to transmute that to where she is today !
where's
snow
leopard
gone?
it's
little
cardboard
picture
burnt up ?
using words conveying an inappropriate level of intimacy in talks, close up photos on the web, like you would only ever see a person that close up ever if you were about to kiss them, it's all quite deliberate and just designed to catch those who fall for it !
you get all sorts of other social control going on, group think and alienation of dissenters
where they are running into trouble now is the net is permitting real criticism, like this blog (ed. batgp)
there's some really good stuff on the web about it, don't be sucked in !
byron katey has a really nice house/palatial apparently , all trimmed out in white she's obviously obsessed with the colour
what i like about her is she is quite mad and totally non-consequential and leaves a swath of well deserved damage where-ever she goes
personally i would not be part of promoting her money making machine !
i think more basically she's formulaic and it just does not work !
women are at a huge disadvantage, when their hormones go, so do their brains, tho i think byron katie is on HRT of some sort or was ?
with rick archer there is a direct synergy, with brad warner there isn't, tho a significant indirect synergy !
if you stop pushing other people as proxies for your own understanding , where do you stand?
that's really fundamental , i don't think anyone who really understands what this is about can possibly push the notion of teaching or even knowing better than another person, even though they may, it's all such a mixed up uneven brickbat !
i'm really appreciating rick a bit more, he's really into that, not arrogant like most of those he interviews, he must have noticed they don't learn from him and they should !
whats wrong ? like me taking the time to make a serious suggestion to john sherman about something and offer email contact but he deleted my post on his web site and no contact, yet i feel he understands somethings well, but he's got stopped somewhere !
amma who is almost top of the heap, yet sorta caught up in something unhealthy
ciaran healy, good insight to a certain level but i feel he's not eating properly or something, brain sort of failing on him (needs fish oil ?)
karen richards deleted my post about her using clichés, she has all the patheticness of a failed “love bomber” lol
no zennites taking up my challenge for “dharma combat” on the 7th patriarch zen blog (which extends to advaita btw)
you read the old stories, the real adepts didn't behave like this, they were in boots and all !
just a bunch of domestic cats really now !
is
a
s
tangible
as
flowers
in
a
vase
it
needs
to
vibrate
in
you
constantly
i think it's important for males doing this work to have sustained periods of no emission and no or minimal contact with women.
it gives or helps give the intense focus needed !
wether it's healthy for your protsate is another question !
you
chisel
a
statue
out
of
rock
you
can
make
any
shape
but
it
won't
be
that
animated !